I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
jump out the window naked night went bad
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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