On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Success! We fucked roommates!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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