go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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