If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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