Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
