she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
