Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
