he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
