i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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