Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
