Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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