it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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