is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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