The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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