it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
