The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
