My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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