Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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