i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
