I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
