you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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