when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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