i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
