I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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