The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
