My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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