one might say we're banned from that church
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
