Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
