But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
