also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
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I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize