I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize