I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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