He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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