Its about making memories worth repressing
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
