On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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