I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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