You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
