Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
