I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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