Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
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I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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