I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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