i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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