he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
