I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
