My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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