She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
