Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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