I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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