So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize