That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
