if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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