I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
