Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
