So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
