Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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