that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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