Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
