Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
